Painting

Pouring emotions
In clotting colour
Against the textile weave
Of bleached white
The trusting touch
Of brush on canvas
Carressing, smoothing
Blending one feeling
With another
A tapestry in acryllic
The quiet sounds
Of a toddler amused
By the game of the world.

There is a friend
Whose face is as round
As the whole world
He smiles like
A dawning day

He walks on water
When the times is right
To pluck me helpess
From the waves

His reflection stands
Time's acid test
His footsteps,
Africa's migrating herds
Reliable, unstopable

His touch
Is of a butterfly
Come to roost
Purring in your heart.

Gutterball
Who to call?
Dang it all!

Pheph.

What heavy sadness
To sleep and not to dream
To flee the conjurings
Of your own conflicts
Is heaven escape?
A flight to oblivion?
Or being reborn
Reshaped
A life of living.

The curse of an overactive imagination...

Good Thing it doesn't Rest on Me

There aren't enough hours in the day
To pray all that I need to pray
There arent enough seconds
For bringing in heaven
When life's being lived in the shade

If the Spirit is here
Why are there so many shadows?

In the middle of the night
The broken taxi cab of desire
Flags down passing motorists
Nobody has jumper cables.

The Price

So often
The guilt we suspect in others
Is just our own reflection,
Jesus was so right
When you see a splinter in someone else
Beware of the log in yourself.

The future's coming on
The heartbeat of a searchlight
Punching through clouds
Where deceptions shed
Their store of angry tears
And shuffle reluctantly
Quietly into the corner
Stare it down if you must
The future's coming on.

Sorry cast in iron
Watch it sink.

Freedom flies
On golden feathered wings
Watch the eyes
They are the center of everthing

It shines through the clinging clouds
Of grim despair
It glows through the long night
Of selfish lies
It holds true no matter
How the ground trembles
I can set my life by it
Though the storms threaten
My North-star
God's love.

In jars of clay
Hide your insides
Warts and all
And maybe one day
I will come
When you call
It's not what you say
But what you do
When you fall
That patterns your name
Gently deeply
Warts and all.

Weakness

The unwillingness
To use the strengths of others
When you need help.

Bejelly my eyes
With brutal surprse
Stabbity stabbity
Poking inside
Cut with the knife
Slowbackstab excise
The wobbly jobbly
Hiding inside

There are people
Lining up for plastic
Happy like a painted smile
See them coming
In sharp like clockwork
Happy like a painted smile

Do they look out
At the people looking in?

The sun's playing games with your hair
Hide and seek, makes the week
Seem some how stretched out
And shortened all at once
Like time flows in two directions

Breakout
Turned about
Rocking like
An ocean in a bottle
You got all you want
And now you want out?

Tasteful
Terrible
Queen and everything
Piled on ten matresses
Towering through the future
Waiting for the call

Success and laughter
Adopted daughters
Forged family portraits
Too small to listen
Too big to care
Blink and you missed me
Cause I wasn't there.

"Sing with a broken heart
And I will sing with mine"

Hold nothing
Wait for everything
But beware
Empty hands bruise easy.

Sing

Sing to hide your soul
Will I ever win?

Over great empire
Truth and fate collide
We are each one fading
Gathering into barns
To hide with the cows
Will it pass over?
Sapping of the might
The deadly beast is raging
While we are still warm
And nobody knows
Will it pass over?

Sometimes
When you really care for someone
You have to do something
They may hate you for.

Where is the ground?

Am I falling
Or flying?

Respect where God put me
To do best by you
How?

The trap snaps shut
Slowly sapping strength
Slick steel jaws
Jutt justice into
My painfilled appendage
Truth trusts no fools
When the trap snaps shut

Heh.

Finally lived up to
My own advice proper.
Honesty can be brutal tough
Sometimes
But I think the relief
The assistance the love
Is worth it.

And the only thing
That makes it so hard
Is pride.

Defeat

Blank screen
Brown paper
Second-hand guilt
Wasted time
Betrayed faith
New clothes
Coveralls
Clean hair
Cold skin
Sadness at
Sadness lack
Reconstruct
From the start
Defeat
All bets are off.

Preparation

I'm sick to death
Of feeling half prepared
Of getting there and feeling like
I have no idea what Im on about.
Sucks

Lies are not training wheels for trust.

Lies weigh the truth down
Like drunken elephants
That need to be carried home.

My brain
Is soup
At the moment
Tomato

The mind is an unruly charge
At even the best of times
Flitting from place to place
Getting to mischief
Satisfying curiosity
By casually pulling things apart
And leaving them in pieces
In the hallway
Waiting for an unwary foot

Butterfly
Grows
More beautiful
With each
Passing day
Delicate splendor
On gossamer wings

Dadddy don't let
The bad men win
Daddy don't let
The shadows in
Daddy please keep me
Far from sin
Don't let it in
Don't let it in

Music

Anyone who doesn't hate Radiohead
Is a good person as far as I'm concerned

Made me Proud

The longer the night
The more beautiful the dawn

Tired
In body heart and soul
Some days
Come from nowhere
And steal away it all.

No good
Can't be
Friendship?
Maybe
Or not
Probably

Your mind tricks
Itself so slickly
And troubles trickle
Tracks so stickily
Spidering through
Wondering thoughts
Is it worry over nothing?
Is it seeing the end beginning?

Plays on your mind
Doubt and fears
The everpresent
"What if"
Erodes trust
Corrodes patience
Drags the long
Dry afternoon out
After beating it unconscious.

The Storm

Lightning races across
The tar-stained landscape
In untamed exuberance.

Thunder chases after,
Screaming in frustration
At being the slow kid
In the game of tag.

Hail stands by the sidelines
And applauds

The Biggest Fear

Hunting a dream
That you can keep
You take a fall
And hit the street
Blood pooling softly
In your teeth
And here I am.

When the searching
Grinds on and on
You stop and wonder
What went wrong
Was it you then
All along?
And here I am.

Couldn't stand to watch you hit the wall
Couldn't sit there as you waste away
Tell me your reasons, give me a call
You deserve a brighter day
Again

Did you lose yourself
Out there somewhere?
Hurting so bad
You no longer care
Grabbing hold
Hanging on
To anyone

I'm not asking you to throw away dreams
Or to give away living at night
I just hate to see you stumble and bleed
And settle for something less than right

Hunting a dream
That you can keep
You take a fall
And hit the street
Blood pooling hotly
In your teeth
You sit there crying
In your sheets
With tears that never
Reach your feet
And here I am.

Can't stand to watch you hit the wall
I can't just sit there as you fall
Ten suns collapse.
The moon breaks down.
It's not your fault you feel alone
Cold and inhuman to your bones
I stand here waiting like a fire
Where truth and false get put aside
I'll take your hands
I'll warm your hands
You don't even have to smile.

Here we all are
Hoarding our pains
Nobody gains,
Including ourselves
When defeat
Is losing sight
Of the fight
Abandoned on the shelves

Lives in quiet comfort
Between the bedposts and the wall
She keeps love in a pocket
And all her friends on call
They don't party without her
She's the soul of the life
Gave hers up to be alive
With a cup and a glowing cigarette.

I wonder what victory would taste like
In a sandwich..

Some monsters are too big
To fight alone
But sharp teeth
And fierce claws
Won't triumph
Against a multitude

Truth is at it's loudest
When it's from the heart
In all honesty
Honesty is honest from the start

You may not believe it
But I don't believe in miracles
Side of the road
Kiss all your worries good bye
Sometimes you need
To get caught in the rain
Before you realise
You've been hiding till
The sun goes away.

I don't think it's a
Kind of simple yes or no
To go and change
Or stay and grow
Tomorrow's questions
Are too hard to know

I used to dream of floating free
Break the chains, no cost to me
But now I find it's harder
Sometimes consequences just have to be.

One day I woke up a child
The next I was a different man
Cut out from another can
Drifting from the older me
Pain and sorrow change nothing
But the glasses that you use to see

I used to dream of floating free
Break the chains, no cost to me
But now I find it's harder
Sometimes consequences just have to be.

Trust

Small and fragile
Beautiful
A delicate egg of promise
Once broken never healed
Nurture it
Hold it close
To your warm heart
And watch it grow.

I Hate Microsoft

There you are.

Need to vent.

Just lost

EVERYTHING

That I did today for science tomorrow.

Everythign.


3 hours worth of work.

Gone.

Even though i've been saving it as I go.

The program crashes and .... amazingly, all my progress (saves inclusive) have gone down the drain..



MAN I'm annoyed.

And I totally have no time to do it all again.

Oh my children!
Oh precious lambs broken
On vicious rocks!
How I long to bleed for you
Bind up your bleeding wounds
Gather up and carry you
To where
There is life

Oh my children
I bleed for your pain
Your aloneness
Your broken smiles
And empty promises
Every "I'm OK"
Every fear-strained day
Oh my children
Let me help you.

Jesus

God's way of saying
You are forgiven
All of your black sin
And hate and anguish
Go now
Live life alive
And sin no more.

Hollow Girl (The Darkness of the Day)

She sees through the mirror
And through her insides
Breathing through the sound
Of a hidden heart tearing

But she's OK
On the outside atleast
Ink bleeds through her veins
Scribbling out the pain

Turn back the pages
Where it all went wrong
Out in the darkness of the day
And oh so alone

They took from you
What you could never give
In return, only guilt
You made it home, alone.

In the house's echoes
Love is running dry
You're longing out the windows
But they only cloud up

There's a tremor in your eye
Punch drunk on pain
And so alone
Are you one of them?
Are you only skin deep?

Out in the darkness of the day
Out of arm's reach
The ink bleeds black in your veins
You are crying on the phone
And oh so alone.

Love is saying
I want to know you
Cuts and bruises
So you can heal

Tears patter
On dusty panels
The floor doesn't
Quite hold together
Could be the sound
Of a heart quietly breaking

On MSN

Shadow Simon says:
somewhere along the way
Shadow Simon says:
you've lost sight of who you are
Shadow Simon says:
and you lost the words to say
Shadow Simon says:
to let you out, set you free
Shadow Simon says:
somewhere along the way
Shadow Simon says:
you confused your diamonds
Shadow Simon says:
for broken glass

It's hard
Being innocent
Until proven guilty

Looking Back

The house of cards collapsed
She wasn’t there
I sent her far away

But eyes pierce like lies
Holding hands
And crossing tee’s

I knew what she would say

Denial, is a look in the mirror
When your eyes blink closed
You see true

You see through

Just myself, and guilty warmth
Dying embers, dying light
Weak hands

She wasn’t there
I sent her away
I couldn’t care to think
Cannot bear to blink
With reminders plastered up
On those dark walls.

The house of cards came down
The circus was in town
Did you want to go?

Say no and I’ll understand
Even though you won’t

She wasn’t there
Hanging like an angel
From a clothes-hook
I never would have
She wasn’t there!

Why so unsorry?

Replacing love with walls
Only buries you
The house of cards collapsed.

In the quiet of the day
When your mind dwells
On other things
That sin slips under your skin
And stabs the daggers in.

Can you not see
That people would rather
Befriend a person
Than an ideal?

Don't ever be so afraid of letting them down
That you don't even let them in.

Know This

For where I've
Crossed the line
I'm sorry
I meant nothing more
Than the image of God
To reach with love
To the lost and broken
To give encouragement
To the down and out

I am but
A fallen man
At heart
May God strike
Straight blows
With such a
Crooked stick.
Bless His Name
Forever.

Peace

An eventful week.

In such
Is the steel of faith
Forged.

Vulnerable

Trust
Such a little word
To have so much weight
Dangling from its shoulders
A single syllable
And yet such grim fate
Retionships doomed
To never growing older

Trust
The sound of a heart extended
Beating helpless, frantic
A lamb to the knife
It's breaking is friendships ended
A gulf swallows the Atlantic
On the teetering cliff-face
Of a wounded life

Trust
Is the pure undefiled
Reaching out with empty hands
To say "Here I am"
Peeling back the calloused shells
Of half-healed cuts and bruises
Letting the sun shine sweep
Onto private frozen hells
At risk of getting burned.
Trust

It's Funny

How sleep slips through your grasp
Like bear-hugging an eel
Only to mug you when you aren't looking.

Funny how
Life never takes itself seriously

Don't blame me
For sticking up for you
When you don't.

My New Hobby

Starting MSN conversations with lines that rhyme with the person's sign in name

Don't stumble through the darkness
Just to prove you don't need light.

Burdens

Walk alone
Pull your weight
Suffer in silence

Jesus

"Come to me
In your weariness
In suffering silence
I will give you rest"

Mr Goris

Old man on a high hill
The winds of passion whisper still
Hunched and full of things to say
He fills the silence with wisdom

Call the Lost
Sheep Belong
Together

Bleat your pain
We huddle
Keep you warm.

Cut off your feet
To walk
Cut out your tongue
To talk
Cut off your hands
To pull you up

It hurts so much
Why do it?

Eternity

I'm glad I don't have to live
For eternity in a broken world
I think living here forever
A life full of almost-but-not-quite's
Would kill me.